Being the first daughter of my family, I was always looked after by my grandmother 24*7. Being a tiny toddler unable to look down the balcony I would, slowly toddle along with my granny's help to the edge and would stand upon her feet to peep down the balcony. Ah! Such soft legs, wouldn't pain standing long, and I would simply stand there watching different people passing by the road while my granny would be talking to many by turns, out of whom some may be strangers too. What a sense of welcoming must be on her part that people would stop to talk to her and enjoy her friendliness on the road while passing by!
My grandmother- we called her jejemaa. A lady with a beautiful plump face, healthy build up body and a pretty attracting smile.That big red bindi on the forehead of her told more of what she felt at times. She was all magic as her smile and blush would heal many at their times of distress. By nature, she was a kind hearted and boisterous lady in our family. She had an aura of hospitality for which she fed every people who visited her or requested her. She was not educated yet she had knowledge of humanity, kindness, happiness, peace and most of it of love. She brought up her 4 children really well, as my father is an example to it. Later she raised up her 8 grandchildren with same ease and values. I remember visiting places with her and grandpa as she loved carrying me to all places she toured. She calls me lovingly by a nickname- "NANU". I was her piece of heart , as I was the elder granddaughter and I stayed with my grandparents since my very first day.
While I was of around 4-5 Years old, she would take me on walk with her where she would feed me with cakes and chocolates, and some days when she wont get me those, I would simply cling to her saree, hold her saree plates from the legs area and woulds sit on the road crying to give me chocolates, to which she would drag me by hands and take me back to my dad. Those days were one of a kind where I used to be stubborn but she would make me understand compassion and strength. She would treat me with her hand cooked delicacies and would feed me by her hand, which I enjoyed the most.
She was a strong lady with epic patience level, as I remember once in 2010, I met with an accident and came home wounded with blood soaked scarf. Everyone around in my family started crying and worrying what to do next, but it was her who took me running to the doctor and got prescribed to have stitches at a nursing home. She had always been a quick decision maker & strong pillar of strength to me and my family.
We lived in a joint family of 13 members and every single member of our family was same in her eyes. She would never be unfair to anyone and treated everyone equally. With time and age, our house was left with lesser members and when my grandfather passed away in 2011, I literally felt the pain of my granny's loneliness after jejebapa left her for the heavenly abode. That is when I stayed as a shadow to her presence in our home till I left home for my engineering. I used to sleep beside her till the day I left home. She always shared bedtime stories of her times, of our times, her old customs, traditions and countless other things. Her chatter always kept me entertained and I am a happy kid just because of her.
Around the year 2013, I moved to other district for my graduation when I had to leave her and she would miss me then. I too missed sleeping next to her, so I would keep a daily call log to my parents and her to let her not feel lonely. She was a talkative lady and could keep on talking for end number of hours, so were our call duration, owing to my talkativeness(which of course I have inherited from her). To the interesting fact, when I went to hostel she taught me not to differentiate among people of other castes and religions and asked me to value humanity over all other things. She was less read yet was the most witty granny of that age. Thanks to her values of humanity and serendipity that me and my brothers and sisters have learnt to be humane in inhumane crisis.
She was my secret-pot of innumerable gossips and I was her Nanu keeping her heartfelt words stilled in my heart. I loved her and at times grinned at her non understanding character, as she would get angry on things at time which were beyond her control. I have fought with her over silly things, she had even thrown tantrums at me and my parents for our insolence. She would get angry for a time suddenly and would cool down likewise. When I would come back home from hostel she would keep on checking on my parents about my arrival, same with other family members visiting our home. She would always have the excitement of our arrival and would love to hear our stories.
The count of our family members came down to 3 with mom, dad and her for those 4 years of my engineering, and finally in 2017 the count came back to 4 with me returning home after my graduation. She was the happiest to have me back at home, to have me sleeping next to her, to share her stories pains, happiness and many more. She would plant kisses on my cheeks when I would pull her cheeks and cuddle her. I always liked staying close to her as much I could. Later after 2 years when they arranged to get me married , it was her who was struck by the agony of our separation. I saw her tears since my engagement was fixed and she kept on insisting me to be the best wife and best daughter-in-law of my new family. All I learnt from her was hospitality for people in my family,love for everyone and the virtue of kindness for all.Today, its been a year and more to my marriage, and I had left my home leaving behind the 3 members again. I was happy as my parents had my granny and granny had them as their supports. They would video-call me and talk for hours, but one day her long video call would be her last one - that I didn't think of too! Before I could accept and make myself prepared for such a big loss in my life, she left me. Before I could be ready to acknowledge that she too had a lifespan, she left us for the heavenly abode. And here I am penning down my grief in words on this blog, as its really hard for me to accept that she too had to leave someday, she too had to vacuum the piece in my heart and take it with her. She left us within seconds and kept us missing her presence for the life. I could go on joining letters to words for her and attach long epics of her virtues and greatness, but I would quote on the length of this page, to have that space for me to enliven her presence throughout my life.
" There's a void now within me of you, there's always a little you in me.
No matter where you stay jejemaa. you will always be me, I'll always be you."
(P.S : I hope her soul is around us and is in happier place for a later life of her.)
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